Best Dressed Deer

Steve McD, Hudson Valley, NY

Well, I was in one of those outfitter stores the other day and I saw this product right up by the cash registers called "BUTT OUT". I chuckled to myself and thought, "anything for a dollar." Here goes another disaster just waiting to happen.

There are a lot of deer processors out there this time of year, and many have learned to examine the deer that come into their shop for butchering BEFORE they agree to process the unlucky hunter's deer. I say unlucky because most hunters kill deer at least twice -- once in the field, second when they field dress it, and third by over-cooking in the kitchen.

This tidbit of information is to help those lucky hunters who harvest a deer learn a very important tip about field dressing it without turning it into a hack job of ruined meat. I never understood why hunters feel they need huge Bowie knives and axes for field dressing deer, when all you need is a small scary sharp high carbon steel blade and a piece of old string or shoe lace.

After the deer is down and you know it is dead (poke him in the eye, if he blinks he's still alive!) position the deer, so that the upper part of the body is facing uphill. First things first, take your small blade knife and cut around the deer's anus. Next -- grab and pull the large intestine out a few inches, take your string and tie off the large intestine.

Then make "shallow" cuts around the sex organ zipping the knife up the body cavity with the knife pressing up and away. You do not want to cut the small intestine when starting out, as the urine will spill inside the body cavity. You also do not want to break the body membrane which holds the innards intact, if it breaks it is going to smell! Cut up to the sternum then carefully inspect, look and feel for any foreign objects in the body cavity. Warning -- even broken bone is razor sharp. Next, reach up inside the body cavity into the neck and cut the windpipe (esophagus) and pull it out. All of the innards should come out like a large garbage bag. Last but not least, the large intestine that you tied off -- pull it inside the body cavity and out with the rest of the innards.

Tying off the large intestine prevented fecal matter from spilling into the body cavity, prevented you from either cutting or hurting yourself by attempting to separate the pelvic cartilage, and prevented you from making a hack job of your venison and destroying good meat.